A mural at the Harry Reid International Airport in Las Vegas that spoke to me.
Where Michigan and Nevada Meet
Did you ever feel like the world was making us a bit too digital? I originally found this walking digital person at http://homepage.ntlworld.com/clivebillson/id310amp.gif but that link isn't working anymore. On the one hand it's an ultra-example of personification; on the other hand, it's quite anti-human or at least de-humanizing. I'll call it digitification.
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April 9, 2024 --- Months Fly By
So far, 2024 has been a whirlwind: family emergency on January 1 brought me back to Michigan for several weeks; my partner, Linda, and I visited my brother, Armen, and his wife, Belinda, near Fort Myers, Florida for almost a week; Linda and I also went to Reno, NV, to visit her friend, Brenda, and Ben for a couple days; my Aunt Hazel died and I attended the funeral in Michigan. And in a couple weeks, I am going back to Michigan to work as a Guest Service Representative for the Mackinac State Historic Parks on Mackinac Island...for a month. It will be the second time and I plan to document some of that journey in this space. December 28, 2023 ——— Grief in Varying Doses
Tom Smothers died of cancer this week. He lived a long life (to 86) and made many people laugh (two of my goals). He and Dick were interviewed recently on CBS Sunday Morning and it included the line he used to say: “I want to die like grandpa did, in his sleep. Not in stark terror like the other people in the car he was driving.” https://www.cbsnews.com/video/from-the-archives-the-smothers-brothers/?fbclid=IwAR0UhRy8fmJv0WKzyjsUyTJFbIA8LVZXg_-0B8h-lnUPk8c-9oTdDM_GsGg_aem_ARLiI4BnBWPSq6-U4KW0edpiReXlQWGkTfshaohayzqKBWtbHlSFtT03_MueQdBYUVI He will be missed, partly, because he said what needed to be said and he reminded us not to take ourselves too seriously; each of us could use those lessons and try to emulate that lifestyle. Nine years ago, today, my daughter, Rachel, married Robbie. It was a joyous day and I enjoy looking back at those photos. Thankfully, they are still together. However, Rachel and I are not talking to each other these days. Divorce has that effect with adult children sometimes. I hope she can come to forgive me and we can forge a new relationship going forward. Everyday, I am grieving these lost days in our relationship. May the new year bring forgiveness, peace, and joy…even laughter…in all of our lives. Dec. 3, 2023 --- The above video is from nine years ago. Their message of unity and respect is what the world needs to hear.
Nov. 30, 2023 --- Meaning
Recently, I was tutoring a 19 year old Chinese student on developing his English skills. There was a lull in the conversation and I asked him if he had any questions for me. He thought for a moment and asked "What do you think is the meaning of life?" Pretty deep question for tutoring. After a moment's thought, I told him that I would explain what gives my life meaning: My belief in God gives my life meaning; serving others makes life meaningful; finding things that bring me joy and experiencing them (singing, dancing, art, writing, music...) is key; learning is at the heart of what gives my life meaning; and making connections and community through relationships (friendship and love) is essential. He liked my answer but asked why I included my belief in God. I responded that my faith gives my life hope and that helps me when I feel down or when difficult things happen. It also feeds my service-approach to life. As we continued talking, I did check in with him to make sure he wasn't depressed. He reassured me that he wasn't. I felt honored that he felt comfortable asking me such a deep question and following it up with another. And I realized that my answer clarified some things for me. This type of exchange is why I relish my time with young people. Fall photos from Las Vegas and Henderson
Nov. 24, 2023 --- Learning from Dr. Kristin DuMez
Dr. Kristen DuMez wrote the book, Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation. She spoke at the Peoples Church in East Lansing, Michigan, earlier this month as the keynote in the Henry and Annabel Larzelere Lecture (watch the video, above). The world seems pretty crazy these days. Less than a year before we vote for our next U.S. President, I found Dr. DuMez's words and her presence to be clarifying and somewhat encouraging. She helped me understand how white evangelicals have politicized the Christian faith. I appreciated her call for tolerance of others and also her call to not self-censor ourselves; we need to speak in loving, forceful ways with truth to the ways that many conservative Christians bizarrely interpret God's word. Her words were a warning to anyone who wants to keep our democratic values and freedoms. I was struck by her grasp of the Evangelical mindset and organizational monster, as well as her sobering wake-up call to Democrats. We truly need to get informed and get involved if we want to keep President Biden around for four more years. P.S. I watched a segment on CBS Sunday Morning that echoes Dr. DuMez's thoughts and concerns. Here's the link: White Evangelicals, Trump, and a Church in Crisis. 
November 8, 2023 --- Visiting a Jeopardy Taping
In September, Linda and I made time to be at a taping of the TV quiz show, Jeopardy. Earlier, we reserved tickets on the website (see below). We arrived at the specified time and were led across the Sony Picture Studios to the set and found our seats. As a group, we were told many times to put our phones away and not take photos on the set, but at least a dozen times people tried to sneak and use their phones. Johnny Gilbert, the announcer, wasn’t there but we heard his voice right on cue. We guessed that he was possibly at his home. We lucked out in that the two shows being taped were a two-game final of the the Champions Wild Card tournament. They told us that the games would air on Nov. 7 and 8. The contestants, Emily, Aaron, and Jilana, changed clothes between shows. They all seemed excited and a bit nervous to be there. Aaron was pretty emotional at times, getting upset when things didn’t go his way but also seemed to be having fun. Emily seemed the most relaxed of the group, laughing at some of the category names and smiling a lot. Many of the past wild card Jeopardy contestants were in our crowd. They seemed to get along pretty well with each other. I always wondered how the contestants knew when to buzz in. After Ken finishes asking the question, a blue light lights up. The contestants (and the crowd) can see it, but it’s not visible to the TV audience. And if the contestants buzz in before the light lights, they are locked out. I enjoyed Ken answering the audience’s questions during breaks. He’s quite the presence and is very knowledgeable about Jeopardy history. I even asked a question. I thanked him for inspiring my Quiz Bowl team from East Lansing (at the National Championship in Chicago years ago) and wondered if he is still involved with high school Quiz Bowl. He said that his full time job requires most of his time but that he does what he can to promote it; in addition, he suggested to the crowd that if they know a young person who may be interested in trivia that they direct him or her to their local Quiz Bowl team. In tonight's game, the winner wins $100,000 and a chance to be on the Tournament of Champions. The other two get $50,000 and $25,000. It was a fantastic experience. The stage manager and other staff made it fun. I would recommend it to any Jeopardy fan. And we were able to see ourselves in a blur on TV, too! If you’re going to be in Culver City, CA, here’s the link to free tickets to a taping: https://on-camera-audiences.com/shows/Jeopardy If you want to try to be a contestant on Jeopardy, here’s a link to take the test: https://www.jeopardy.com/be-on-j 
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October 25, 2023 --- Lemonade Maker
"Divorce is hard, no matter if you're the one leaving or the one that gets left."
T. Lasso
Ted Lasso was right. And even though many things have worked out better than I could ever have imagined, I've been grieving every day of the last 15 months. Some family members have cut me off, not even wanting to hear my side. Some friends have chosen Judy over me and, despite my attempts, do not communicate with me anymore. Leaving East Lansing/MSU/Michigan has been hard, as has figuring out Nevadan desert culture; I've missed the Lansing Poetry Club members and struggled to find a poetry community here. And even some supportive friends have been a tad distant...everybody has lives and is busy. I get that.
Recently, I went on an evening walk with one of the few friends I have made in Nevada. After the walk, he offered me a bag of lemons from his lemon tree. I'm sure I stared at them for several seconds before thanking him and taking them. He suggested that, though green, they would still make excellent lemonade. So today, I cranked up Stop Making Sense and bopped around the kitchen making lemonade for the first time. It helped a little.
What They Don't Tell You About Making Lemonade
There are lots of seeds
Be sure to cut them out
Of the lemon halves
Before you squeeze the lemons ---
Those buggers are difficult
To scoop out of the juice,
Often hiding and then just when
You think you've snagged them
They duck under the surface
If your hands are dry and cracked
Don't hold the lemon with that hand
When you squeeze them
Unless you enjoy acidic jolts
The hardest part is patience ---
It takes a long time for lemons
To grow
For sugar to make its way
From the cane
For David Byrne to write
The soundtrack
And for people to accept
The lemonade
I don't expect people to have the 10 second memory of goldfish (another Ted Lasso-ism). To move on and accept me, be happy for me, right away. Other friends suggest that with time all things are possible. I want to believe them. I want badly to believe them.
October 1, 2023
sometimes I feel like my texts
are sent into a giant blackhole
should I take it personally
that people do not respond asap?
people are busy, working and other
shit, so they see my text
but they ignore it for the moment
thinking they’ll get back to it
or maybe I am a nuisance
I check-in too often
I am too needy
whichever it is, I find it
difficult to wait
I am working on being more patient
which is like saying I’m working
on living longer…aren’t we all?
but sometimes I feel like my texts
are sent into a giant blackhole
and disappear into nothingness
or wherever black hole
stuff accumulates
"Divorce is hard, no matter if you're the one leaving or the one that gets left."
T. Lasso
Ted Lasso was right. And even though many things have worked out better than I could ever have imagined, I've been grieving every day of the last 15 months. Some family members have cut me off, not even wanting to hear my side. Some friends have chosen Judy over me and, despite my attempts, do not communicate with me anymore. Leaving East Lansing/MSU/Michigan has been hard, as has figuring out Nevadan desert culture; I've missed the Lansing Poetry Club members and struggled to find a poetry community here. And even some supportive friends have been a tad distant...everybody has lives and is busy. I get that.
Recently, I went on an evening walk with one of the few friends I have made in Nevada. After the walk, he offered me a bag of lemons from his lemon tree. I'm sure I stared at them for several seconds before thanking him and taking them. He suggested that, though green, they would still make excellent lemonade. So today, I cranked up Stop Making Sense and bopped around the kitchen making lemonade for the first time. It helped a little.
What They Don't Tell You About Making Lemonade
There are lots of seeds
Be sure to cut them out
Of the lemon halves
Before you squeeze the lemons ---
Those buggers are difficult
To scoop out of the juice,
Often hiding and then just when
You think you've snagged them
They duck under the surface
If your hands are dry and cracked
Don't hold the lemon with that hand
When you squeeze them
Unless you enjoy acidic jolts
The hardest part is patience ---
It takes a long time for lemons
To grow
For sugar to make its way
From the cane
For David Byrne to write
The soundtrack
And for people to accept
The lemonade
I don't expect people to have the 10 second memory of goldfish (another Ted Lasso-ism). To move on and accept me, be happy for me, right away. Other friends suggest that with time all things are possible. I want to believe them. I want badly to believe them.
October 1, 2023
sometimes I feel like my texts
are sent into a giant blackhole
should I take it personally
that people do not respond asap?
people are busy, working and other
shit, so they see my text
but they ignore it for the moment
thinking they’ll get back to it
or maybe I am a nuisance
I check-in too often
I am too needy
whichever it is, I find it
difficult to wait
I am working on being more patient
which is like saying I’m working
on living longer…aren’t we all?
but sometimes I feel like my texts
are sent into a giant blackhole
and disappear into nothingness
or wherever black hole
stuff accumulates
September 6, 2023
Here I am, above, giving stand-up comedy a shot.
August 31, 2023 --- August in Michigan
Disclaimer: Some experiences cannot be fully communicated. I use the words I have to capture the essence of what happened. You make it make sense for yourself. I add details, examples, and photos to fill in the blanks. We can get close. Our perspectives will always be different, though, in that way that you and I are each unique beings, are each stars in our own galaxies. Every time we attempt communication, there’s a part of us that knows that we can’t quite get there. It’s a bit frustrating. We have to try, however. The intensity of the emotions, thoughts, and observations that you and I have can be overwhelming. Here’s my best attempt at getting across my recent time on Mackinac Island.
They say you can never go home. And yet, I moved from lush Michigan to arid Nevada and upon my return to MI, the vibrant green and inviting rivers and lakes, as well as the cooler temperatures were a welcome hug. That hug was part of the reason I came back to the state for three and a half weeks.
I was blessed by the generosity of friends and family at every turn during my ‘Michigan in August’ adventure. My nephew, Michael, picked me up at the airport and shared some stories of his Tokyo adventures; then, I had dinner with my brothers and their spouses…something that doesn’t happen often enough. At Armen and Belinda’s in Novi, I was able to kayak around their lake in the morning. Armen introduced me to what may be my future sport, pickleball, and I enjoyed it more than expected (was also more tired than expected) and we all went out for a wonderful pontoon ride. With Ara and his family, we took our mother out to a Detroit Tigers’ game; we fortunately chose a beautiful day and a winning outcome.
If you’re not in a hurry, taking the Indian Trails bus from Pontiac to Mackinaw City is a relaxing, scenic ride. I just needed to get there before the last ferry to the island, so the 11 hour tour of lower Michigan was welcome (it included a one hour dinner break at a McDonalds in Reed City). Some people may have become restless, but I’m a good napper, reader, writer, Sudoku player, and people & scenery watcher. It dropped me off across the street from the Shepler’s Ferry. I had worked out to volunteer at the Visitor’s Center on Mackinac Island for 2-3 days, 3-4 hours each…so Mackinac State Historic Parks (and Adrian and Suzette) allowed me to stay at Mission House for free for two nights. Park employee friends welcomed me back and we sat on the porch and talked for quite awhile that first night.
There was a 18-way tie for my favorite memory from my 12 days on the island:
I was able to attend a picnic with Linda’s family at Stony Creek Metropark. We did a water balloon toss, had a lot of yummy food, and I felt welcomed by all her relatives. When I got back to mid-Michigan, my friends, Chance and Jeno also made me feel welcome in their home for a few nights. Chance included me in his prep work for his next art show at The Peoples Church of East Lansing; it should be a fun and funny take on religion. Unbelievably, I was able to meet with several friends in small groups: Dean, Jack, Dawn, Laurie, Tom, Joe, Kim, Frank, Troy, and Sara. I even stayed at Troy and Sara’s unexpectedly when the power went out at Chance’s house. So much generosity, so much shared time with friends. It was wonderful. I ended the trip by spending the day with Aaron; it was his birthday and he chose to go to a Hearth and Hymn concert, which was heavenly. I miss that guy and so I cherished every minute.
Thank you, Michigan, and my Michigan family and friends. Your temps, your breezes, your hugs…all so needed.
Click here to see all the photos that go with all the special memories I made in Michigan in August.
(I added comments on some of the photos and you can too)
Here I am, above, giving stand-up comedy a shot.
August 31, 2023 --- August in Michigan
Disclaimer: Some experiences cannot be fully communicated. I use the words I have to capture the essence of what happened. You make it make sense for yourself. I add details, examples, and photos to fill in the blanks. We can get close. Our perspectives will always be different, though, in that way that you and I are each unique beings, are each stars in our own galaxies. Every time we attempt communication, there’s a part of us that knows that we can’t quite get there. It’s a bit frustrating. We have to try, however. The intensity of the emotions, thoughts, and observations that you and I have can be overwhelming. Here’s my best attempt at getting across my recent time on Mackinac Island.
They say you can never go home. And yet, I moved from lush Michigan to arid Nevada and upon my return to MI, the vibrant green and inviting rivers and lakes, as well as the cooler temperatures were a welcome hug. That hug was part of the reason I came back to the state for three and a half weeks.
I was blessed by the generosity of friends and family at every turn during my ‘Michigan in August’ adventure. My nephew, Michael, picked me up at the airport and shared some stories of his Tokyo adventures; then, I had dinner with my brothers and their spouses…something that doesn’t happen often enough. At Armen and Belinda’s in Novi, I was able to kayak around their lake in the morning. Armen introduced me to what may be my future sport, pickleball, and I enjoyed it more than expected (was also more tired than expected) and we all went out for a wonderful pontoon ride. With Ara and his family, we took our mother out to a Detroit Tigers’ game; we fortunately chose a beautiful day and a winning outcome.
If you’re not in a hurry, taking the Indian Trails bus from Pontiac to Mackinaw City is a relaxing, scenic ride. I just needed to get there before the last ferry to the island, so the 11 hour tour of lower Michigan was welcome (it included a one hour dinner break at a McDonalds in Reed City). Some people may have become restless, but I’m a good napper, reader, writer, Sudoku player, and people & scenery watcher. It dropped me off across the street from the Shepler’s Ferry. I had worked out to volunteer at the Visitor’s Center on Mackinac Island for 2-3 days, 3-4 hours each…so Mackinac State Historic Parks (and Adrian and Suzette) allowed me to stay at Mission House for free for two nights. Park employee friends welcomed me back and we sat on the porch and talked for quite awhile that first night.
There was a 18-way tie for my favorite memory from my 12 days on the island:
- Working four four-hour shifts at the Island Bookstore!
- I had a couple extra copies of my People are Idiots poetry books, so I set them out at the bookstore; they sold within two days and I sold one of them to a complete stranger. She said, “I liked the cover and also the first poem I read.” Does it get much better than that?
- Many thanks to Diane for the hours and to Grace for re-training/reminding me about the job. And for digitally inputting all the books and sidelines into the computer so they could be scanned. Hallelujah!
- Woke early the first morning on the island and saw a surprise sunrise!
- Hiked the entire Tranquil Bluff trail by myself and loved it!
- Found some treasures in a geocache by happenchance
- Had lunch with Rose and Juan at British Landing
- Rode back to town with Juan (and Doug) on the dray…a memorable talk and journey that included a it’s-a-small-world meeting (Brad knew my cousin, Lisa!)
- I saw my two poems and photos that were part of an exhibit at the Mission Point theater lobby!
- Played chess with Juan and Gracin! And again marveled at how they can see so many moves ahead. We played some in front of Mission House on the picnic tables and Juan and I played a couple games in the island library. My record was 2 wins and 4 losses but that was overshadowed by how much fun it was to play the game with these friends on the island.
- Linda joined me for three days and we stayed at Small Point Bed and Breakfast! We took some long hikes (one with Gene to Sugar Loaf), rode horses with Juan and Rose, danced at Grand Night at the Grand Hotel, and had some delicious breakfasts at the B & B. We also ate at the Tea House at the fort and found the view, the service, and the food delightful.
- Practiced parts of my stand up routine with several people and got some excellent feedback!
- I really liked my room at the Colonial House Inn in St. Ignace! It was affordable, had great views, and Mike went above and beyond the call of duty to take me and my luggage to the bus station on the last day.
- Volunteering at the Visitor’s Center was a blast! Hanging out with Liz and Gene and meeting a few first-time Guest Service Representatives (the job I did last summer)...so much fun. I convinced many people to buy the Visitor’s Guide (ala Ted) and enjoyed helping visitors think through their options for a day or more on the island.
- I biked around the island at least twice and within it many times on a bike Adrian loaned to me! That alone saved me a couple hundred dollars.
- When Diane and Joe invited Linda and me to have drinks on the porch of the Yacht Club! It was a special time as we got to know each other better.
- Surprising Rose at Mission House with a copy of my book of poems (she did the cover art)! She was overwhelmed with joy seeing the book.
- Spending time writing at a bench at Fort Holmes in the shade with a breeze!
I was able to attend a picnic with Linda’s family at Stony Creek Metropark. We did a water balloon toss, had a lot of yummy food, and I felt welcomed by all her relatives. When I got back to mid-Michigan, my friends, Chance and Jeno also made me feel welcome in their home for a few nights. Chance included me in his prep work for his next art show at The Peoples Church of East Lansing; it should be a fun and funny take on religion. Unbelievably, I was able to meet with several friends in small groups: Dean, Jack, Dawn, Laurie, Tom, Joe, Kim, Frank, Troy, and Sara. I even stayed at Troy and Sara’s unexpectedly when the power went out at Chance’s house. So much generosity, so much shared time with friends. It was wonderful. I ended the trip by spending the day with Aaron; it was his birthday and he chose to go to a Hearth and Hymn concert, which was heavenly. I miss that guy and so I cherished every minute.
Thank you, Michigan, and my Michigan family and friends. Your temps, your breezes, your hugs…all so needed.
Click here to see all the photos that go with all the special memories I made in Michigan in August.
(I added comments on some of the photos and you can too)
July 28, 2023
Here's a draft of a poem that attempts to get across how I'm feeling lately.
New to Nevada
I noticed the walls first.
So many walls along the highway
and between neighborhoods
sometimes with gates
and walls between neighbors
"Welcome to Las Vegas,
Good luck meeting people"
it should say as you drive
in to town.
I noticed the rocks next.
Instead of grass,
I found more shapes, sizes,
and colors of rocks than I've
ever seen. Everywhere.
I am not a rock lover.
But I feel led here,
still feel I am in the right place.
So I turned to my new partner's friends
one step forward
Began a job tutoring kids
another step forward
Found an over 50 pick-up soccer community
another step forward
Began attending the Unitarian Universalist church
two giant steps forward ---
felt welcomed and valued
by fellow journeyers
(met a fellow poet...hi Stella!)
appreciated the pastor's
enthusiastic, joyful,
truth-telling ways.
And began to see that even
in this arid, isolating city
where people thirst secretly for community
where water is more sacred than church
I can
find ways to continue being
my active, service-minded, silly,
creative self
and
start to feel at home
again.
Here's a draft of a poem that attempts to get across how I'm feeling lately.
New to Nevada
I noticed the walls first.
So many walls along the highway
and between neighborhoods
sometimes with gates
and walls between neighbors
"Welcome to Las Vegas,
Good luck meeting people"
it should say as you drive
in to town.
I noticed the rocks next.
Instead of grass,
I found more shapes, sizes,
and colors of rocks than I've
ever seen. Everywhere.
I am not a rock lover.
But I feel led here,
still feel I am in the right place.
So I turned to my new partner's friends
one step forward
Began a job tutoring kids
another step forward
Found an over 50 pick-up soccer community
another step forward
Began attending the Unitarian Universalist church
two giant steps forward ---
felt welcomed and valued
by fellow journeyers
(met a fellow poet...hi Stella!)
appreciated the pastor's
enthusiastic, joyful,
truth-telling ways.
And began to see that even
in this arid, isolating city
where people thirst secretly for community
where water is more sacred than church
I can
find ways to continue being
my active, service-minded, silly,
creative self
and
start to feel at home
again.
July 15, 2023
Soon, I will be embarking on a new project. I plan to perform my version of stand-up: a few jokes, a few funny poems, and a song or two. I've been tweaking my set for a couple months and practicing it. By September 1, I will have report how it went. I'm planning on having some fun.
Soon, I will be embarking on a new project. I plan to perform my version of stand-up: a few jokes, a few funny poems, and a song or two. I've been tweaking my set for a couple months and practicing it. By September 1, I will have report how it went. I'm planning on having some fun.
June 18, 2023
I have been living in Nevada for about six months. In the 62 years before that, I was born, raised, schooled, and employed in Michigan. It's been sort of like landing on the moon, if the moon had stoplights that lasted three times longer than you'd expect.
I have been living in Nevada for about six months. In the 62 years before that, I was born, raised, schooled, and employed in Michigan. It's been sort of like landing on the moon, if the moon had stoplights that lasted three times longer than you'd expect.
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